Inspired by Anne Holland's Which Test Won I thought it would be useful to show you a standard ad and compare it with a much more thought through ad - using fundraising copy techniques such as being personal, inviting, easier to read and more interesting.
Unlike Which Test Won, I can't give you a definitive answer on the more successful one since we are just running the second one. Your feedback still welcome though!
HEAD OF CLIENT SERVICE
We are an award winning data-led fundraising and communications agency dedicated to the not-for-profit
sector. Exciting growth and continuous success with our clients has resulted in us creating this new senior management role.
Is it the right job for you?
Reporting to the CEO, you will:
- Have the opportunity to manage the teams that are growing income and strengthening supporter relationships for many of the world’s best-run causes
- Help to ensure that we’re always giving our best and only accepting startlingly good results
- Spend valuable time with our charity clients, ensuring that we truly understand their needs and how best we can meet them
- Be rewarded well, materially and emotionally.
You will need to be a senior fundraising professional with ten years relevant experience, a proven track record in directing and inspiring a diverse range of staff, the skill to negotiate and influence at all levels, and the ability to be the new fundraising face of our innovative and groundbreaking company.
Our staff are some of the most talented, committed and hardest-working people you’ll find anywhere. They all get a kick out of getting great results for great causes, because Pareto Fundraising’s mission is nothing less than to change the world.
To apply, email your cover letter addressing the selection criteria and your CV as well as an application coversheet to email@example.com.
Go to www.paretofundraising.com/join-our-team for the selection criteria, application coversheet and job description.
Applications close Friday 18th June 2010.
HEAD OF CLIENT SERVICE
- Senior role in international Fundraising and Communications Agency
- High profile not-for-profit clients
- Sydney Central location
- Six figure salary
I need to find the right person for a new and critical role within Pareto Fundraising.
It’s a role that will ensure we do the very best for our clients and will drive great fundraising results for some of the most important charities in Australia and New Zealand for years to come.
If you are a senior fundraising professional keen on furthering your career in fundraising and direct marketing, challenging the status quo, and most importantly making a real difference to the world – then come and meet me. If this role isn’t for you – but you know who it’s for – have them meet me.
We are a team of dedicated professionals working together to help charities achieve outstanding results from their fundraising. I’m proud that our help has enabled these charities to raise record-breaking amounts for their beneficiaries. Now, following our growth and success, we need an expert fundraiser who is also a brilliant manager to help us lift our service level yet again.
This is a very senior role in Pareto Fundraising, reporting to me and managing the entire client service team. You will inspire great people to achieve their best ever work for wonderful causes and you will help charities across Australia and New Zealand.
It is a brilliant job. But it is challenging. To do such a big job you need to be mentally tough, analytical and have a great business brain, but also be outstanding with people. You’ll need an extensive track record in marketing and managing at a senior level (agency or charity) and, of course, you will also know fundraising intimately – especially direct marketing.
Your staff at Pareto Fundraising are some of the most talented, committed and hardest-working people you’ll find anywhere. They all get a kick out of getting great results for great causes, because Pareto Fundraising’s mission is nothing less than to change the world. Now they need your help to realise their full potential.
Jim Hungerford, CEO
PS. Applications close on Friday 18th June 2010. Please email me at firstname.lastname@example.org with an application cover sheet, your résumé and a letter addressing the selection criteria (go to www.paretofundraising.com/join-our-team for the selection criteria and cover sheet).